Agents of Transformation: Our Inherent Capacity to Accompany Death Well

If you’ve ever supported a dying or grieving loved one, you might have learned that some words and actions which you meant to be helpful are received well… and others aren’t.  I was thrilled to have the chance to interview Australia’s pioneer deathwalker, Zenith Virago, who, for over 30 years, has worked with the dying, the dead and the bereaved. 

Zenith is a maverick pioneer of a more contemporary, empowering and holistic way to die and grieve—and to accompany the dying and grieving. She believes that we all have an inherent capacity to release indoctrination and fear so we can accompany death well. In our conversation, she generously shares what she has learned is most supportive (and not supportive!!) at each stage of the process of dying.

0:00 Introduction
1:55 Zenith describes how she got started working with the dying on her 37th birthday. “Death offered itself to me and I said YES.”
4:20 Zenith’s background in creating and empowering community.
5:58 Death done well creates expansion when those who are dying and grieving are empowered. “I’ve got a voice so I’m going to use it. I’m going to show up and do my best. I do for others what I want others to do for me.”
8:30 Zenith talks about what the dying and bereaved need from those who assist in the process.
12:30 At a death, we have two options.
13:07 Zenith’s wisdom for those assisting the dying: Don’t Look for Meaning and Let Go of Hope.
17:48 Why trust is more useful than hope.
18:46 When people open to the fullness of their dying, they can rest in what IS, and use their precious energy making choices aligned with their values. They often live longer and have better quality of life than those who are clinging to hope.
21:43 Those of us who work with the dying have more courage, capacity and familiarity with death, and we bring that presence to everyone whose death and grief we accompany. We can help them look back on their last days with no regrets.
23:40 “Where we find ourselves is in the not knowing.” This is a helpful way to frame questions we can’t answer, especially when someon
24:40 Why Zenith uses the term Deathwalker.
28:25 Zenith explains her online courses.
29:40 We must touch the sadness, especially when the death is complex.
32:18 Why Zenith no longer uses the phrase “commit suicide” and what she uses instead, in order to support the bereaved.
36:40 Opportunities to learn from Zenith, online and in the US.
40:00 Everyone has the inherent capacity to do death well and to accompany well.

Zenith Virago website: https://www.zenithvirago.com/
Documentary: https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Art-Dying-Zenith-Virago/dp/B01I4GPO2A
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063651412013